Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Ahhh yeah, let The Witcher 2 make it all better

I'm sorry Dragon Age 2 hurt you. It broke your heart and made a mockery of the preorder you shared. But you can forget about all that now. I'm here - or at least I will be in a few weeks. The Witcher 2 will show you what it means to roleplay again.

Yes, I come with some baggage of my own. If you play me, you're going to have to use a pregen character just like in Dragon Age 2, and yeah, I don't even offer the option to play a female PC. But it's a good pregen character. Besides, at least I'm upfront about it. I didn't wait until the sequel to spring this on you. You always knew it was part of the deal.

OK, I admit I added a dialogue wheel. I know how that offends your old-school sensibilities, and I'm sorry. But I did it for you! Did you really want to spend the whole game listening to Geralt speak the exact same line you just selected? Besides, all the single-player RPGs are doing it these days. You want me to look my best, don't you?

Did I mention that I'm PC-only? My interface and gameplay haven't been dumbed down to appeal to console players. When you're playing me, you never have to worry about whether I'm thinking about someone else.

I know it's going to take some time for you to heal, but c'mon baby, you can trust me. I had a good upbringing. I wasn't developed in two years (I'm not trying to say "I told you so," but that was a sure warning sign). I may not have the same pedigree, but the CD Projekt RED family is tight-knit. As an only child, I'm secure with my place in the world, instead of being all wrapped up in sibling rivalry. You won't catch me trying to emulate a popular space opera just to increase sales. There, I said it.

Hey, I know you like me. I heard you've been saying nice things about me on Internet forums and in the gaming press. It's OK to let go. Dragon Age 2 is gone now - its repetitive combat and recycled areas are behind you. It's time to open your hard drive to a new RPG. One that won't let you down.


  1. Yeah, given I still haven't finished Witcher 1, and I've seen more than a handful of huge fans from the first one complain about the sequel... it's going to be a while before I bother to try Witcher 2.

    Dragon Age 2 had some serious flaws, but I still actually enjoyed it. Apart from a few short patches, The Witcher has felt like something I'm playing because I've been told I'll like it as opposed to actually enjoying it. That rarely happens for me with RPGs.

  2. AmstradHero, I think I agree. I have to say I enjoyed DA2 more than The Witcher. It has a lot of flaws that are easy to pick on, but at the end of the day, it's an addictive game. The Witcher, in contrast, had a lot of admirable qualities, but never had me itching to play it.

  3. I only played ~20hr of The Witcher, and it wasn't bad. Like you guys commented, I never "itched" to play it.

    That being said I just finished Witcher 2 and absolutely loved it. I highly suggest reading the IGN review thus far (Sorry to plug another site, but their as-they-go review has been a great read)

    The game's $10 off digitally this weekend (coupon found through I really suggest giving it a try if you're in the mood for lush environments, well-made characters, challenging gameplay, and an overall mature theme(Not like the cheesy sex-scene BioWare style mature, but more like people being beaten to death in front of you, or hung in the town town square, mature)